I suffer from Bipolar I, Social Phobia and Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia. I sometimes pop caffeine pills like they're flipping Flintstones vitamins. This is the result.

 

So I got this place of mine in December. At the time I realized the patio was a little dirty, but it wasn’t until my slippers started making sticky sounds when I walked and my cats paws started appearing everywhere that I realized how dirty it was. Turns out the tenant who was here prior may have been allowing his dog to relieve itself on the patio, which mixed with the dirt and dust that would settle, making for this mutated goo all over the patio floor.

At first I was all “there is no way I’m going to be able to do this!”. I don’t have the ability to get down on all fours and scrub that sucker, but that’s really the only way I can think to break through the cake. For now I’ve borrowed mum’s steam mop while she’s out of town because something’s gotta be better than nothing.

In the middle of the day, when I go out for a cigarette (I know, bad habit, I’m working on it!), I take the steam mop for a run while I’m smoking. The pad lasts about two runs before it needs changing. I’ve gone through two pads so far and it’s already making an incredible difference. I don’t think it’s going to do anything for getting between the grit however, and I really, really want to get between the grit. For now though, I’m focusing on the visible cake, because I can at least see it’s pulling up the layers above the grit and that should make life easier later on.

The previous tenant didn’t clean their shower, possibly ever. I got rid of the big smudge, next up is tackling the yellowing and trim.

Magic Erasers FTW!

My place is looking just-moved-in messy and it’s driving me insane, but progress is being made. Some more random pictures from my new home for you.

So, here’s my new place so far.
Photo 1: My living room. No sofa yet, saving up for that!
Photo 2: My office area.
Photo 3: My dining area.
Photo 4: My bedroom area. That box you see in photos 1 and 2 is an expedit bookshelf that’s going in that empty space on the left, effectively separating off my bedroom area from the rest of the suite. There’s a second bookshelf just like it for the dining area.
Photo 5: My somewhat messy kitchen.

Last night was my first night sleeping in the suite. All went well, except for Shantibug staring a hole into my head at 2am causing me to wake up, but it’s her first night as well so I don’t mind.

My new carpets are in! One regular photo and two comparison photos to show just how big a difference it really is. BEAUTIFUL.

A few more pictures from my new place.

  1. Having your own door means hanging your own Christmas decorations. Mum has lost favour with this wreath, we mini-argued over hanging it last year. Well, now it’s mine, and I can hang it for as many years as I like. :P
  2. My very black curtains that need a pull or something down the centre to break them up, because I’m never going to have them open so there needs to be something there.
  3. My pretty utensil drawer with the pretty non-slip mesh stuff at the bottom in a white and black floral design that I’m in absolute love with if I could I would mesh the walllllls.
  4. I’m in absolute love with this little froggy dude! Best purchase!
  5. I installed a new toilet paper roller.
  6. My bathroom is going to be following that colour scheme. Black, white, purple and grey.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHERS?!

I did this! I changed all the switches in the suite from ugly beige to white decora switches all by myself, then had Terry check to make sure I wasn’t about to burn the building down. My next task? Watching our handyman do one outlet, then giving it a try myself. Yes, that’s right, my building has a handyman. Does that mean I’m going to rely on my friend and handyman alone for things that I could potentially do myself? Of course not!

I’m quite proud of myself at the moment. My mum always taught me to be self-sufficient, not to rely on anybody else to do things for you because of gender roles or general lack of knowledge; learn, try, and if you still can’t do it then you ask for help. Thank you mommy for one of the best lessons of my life.

So now, ignoring the carpet because it is being replaced and you will totally understand why because YES it is actually that bad, this is my new place! I got possession latelatelate this evening, and have now unpacked two boxes of stuff only to realize the stuff I need to organize that stuff is in another box way at the back of the pile of other stuff. It’s hard to do the size of this place justice in photos, but for a bachelor suite it is huge and with a separator using expedit bookshelves I will be able to cordon off my room as its own separate space. It’s like the size of a small one bedroom condo ^_^

Wow!

So a while back I applied for a health mentors program at one of the local universities. I didn’t get through. Yesterday however, I got an email from one of the people who interviewed me, asking me to be a speaker for one of their mental health workshops on Bipolar Disorder!

I have to talk with my therapist about this, because I don’t want my ego boost to blind me to my own limitations, and I think I could use a bit of a reality check just to be certain I’m not jumping into something without truly thinking it through.

I know that I am very engaging when it comes to speaking about what it’s like living with Bipolar Disorder, and I have no doubts as to my ability to actually grab the attention of a room of people and capture their minds - I inadvertently had half a table focused on me while talking to one person about my illnesses, and once they realized I was aware of their attention it was questions aplenty.

The best part is, when applying for the Health Mentors program, I wrote a number of essays as mere prep work (me+essays=love), so I already know many of the issues I would want to discuss with them and things they should know that aren’t necessarily understood about Bipolar Disorder. It covers all the main topics: curiosities, stigma, self-stigma and ableism, support systems, discussing suicide, and individuality.

I haven’t decided for certain that I’m going to do this, I need to be sure that I’m doing the right thing not just for myself but for the people I’d be speaking with. This is, however, an incredible opportunity, and fulfills many of the desires I have for my life trajectory, and whether I choose to participate or not, it has shown me that I’m on the right path and gives me some hope that I might one day fulfill some of my dreams.

And then mum got me a new picture that I already know the perfect location for. Can you see my new place coming together yet? Only twelve days until possession!

(HomeSense seriously rocks. We always find the BEST clearance stuff there! If somebody could accidentally leave a fingerprint smudge on the underside of two crystal and grey lamps at Marine Way, can’t afford em…. yet :P)

And then mum got me a new picture that I already know the perfect location for. Can you see my new place coming together yet? Only twelve days until possession!

(HomeSense seriously rocks. We always find the BEST clearance stuff there! If somebody could accidentally leave a fingerprint smudge on the underside of two crystal and grey lamps at Marine Way, can’t afford em…. yet :P)