So for those of you who don’t know me and/or haven’t clued in, I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. I also suffer from Bipolar I Disorder. I happen to be a tad bit loopy at the moment, or at least that’s what my psychiatrist says.
Usually I cannot ride public transit. At all. No buses, no skytrains, no seabuses, no going out alone beyond a one and a half block radius from my home.
When I’m loopy, this funny thing happens. All of my social anxiety disappears. Every last bit of it. I become confident, very confident, I talk with strangers and I smile and dance in the street and passersby compliment me on being so smiley and bubbly. They love me and I feel like I am doing a service to them by smiling at them whether I know them or not because it makes them happier when somebody smiles directly at them. But that’s not all that happens when I’m loopy.
I get these urges.
To ride public transit.
Yes I know, of all the things for one to do while they are loopy, my brain of all things wants to RIDE ALL THE THINGS.
So today was Tanya’s Transit Adventure. I rode the skytrain along three different lines (Millenium, Expo, Canada), I rode on the Seabus and ended up at Waterfront Park, I took a bus to get home. I made stops in New Westminster, Burnaby, Vancouver, North Vancouver, and Richmond over a six hour period.
I told Mormon missionaries I wasn’t into that whole magic underpants thing. I talked with some random girl on the skytrain about oh god everything (if you’re a redhead who worked at Starbucks in North Vancouver at some point, you were actually really awesome and I like you! It was a fun seabus ride! Thank you!). I talked with a woman about a fat, fluffy dog. Some old guy with a cane talked at me, but I had my headphones on and couldn’t hear a word he was saying and didn’t much want to because he stank of chlorine and had bird poop on his baseball hat. I took a picture of a statue that’s supposed to look like some dude I think crouching but instead just looks like a giant penis.
And whether I’m loopy or not I’m so, so thankful, because once in a blue moon while I may blow all my money on cigarettes and mountain dew, while I may pace until I can barely walk anymore, while I may occasionally even appear to be a crazy person, ever so infrequently I get a brief reprieve from my social anxiety and that to me means the world. Depression sucks, social anxiety sucks, even mania sucks sometimes, but today I got to ride all the things and I am, for now, the happiest girl alive.